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So you want to be a marine biologist? And wipe that smirk off your face, sit up straight and for goodness sakes stop fidgeting! You do? Oh well, never mind.
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So you want to be a marine biologist?
And wipe that smirk off your face, sit up straight and for goodness sakes stop fidgeting! You do?
Oh well, never mind. First of all there are three really, really bad reasons to want to be a marine biologist.
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This is the verbal equivalent of reaching down your throat, pulling out your own intestines, w them around your neck and choking yourself. And why is that? It is because, and please listen carefully, while you may want to talk to dolphins, dolphins do not want to talk to you. Mostly, dolphins want to eat fishes and have sex with other dolphins.
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Oh, I know that there are the occasional dolphins that hang around beaches, swim with humans and seem to be chummy, but these are the marnie. Just be honest with yourself. What you really want to do narine explore your past lives, get in touch with the Cosmic Oneness and conduct similar-minded individuals on tours to Central America looking for evidence that We Are Not Alone. Our experience is that people who feel this way last about 6. We really like Jacques Cousteau, too.
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But, drinking thousands of gallons of red wine while scuba diving around the world does not make you a marine biologist. It makes you a wonderful and effective spokesperson for the sea, and gives you a liver with the consistency of a chocolate necco wafer, but it does not make you a marine biologist. Reason Three: "I want to be a marine biologist because I want to make big bucks.
By Federal law, marine biologists have to take a vow of poverty and chastity. Poverty, because you are not going to make squat-j-doodly in this job.
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Just how for is the doodly we are talking about? Well, five years after finishing my PhD I was making slightly looking than a beginning manager at McDonalds. Ooh, a 36 year old guy with 13 years of college and 5 years of post-doctoral experience making marine about as much as a semi-literate 19 year old with pimples the size of Bolivia, who can speak perhaps 3 words at a time before the term "you know" enters the conversation.
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Marine biologists are almost entirely free of any of those silly restrictions lookking blight the professional landscape of our fellow proletarians. This is because no one really cares about what we do or what we say. You want to come to work dressed in scabrous khaki shorts and a torn black Sandman shirt?
You want to grow a scruffy beard, get a tattoo of a gooseneck barnacle lolking your arm or burp at inopportune moments?
No problem, just do good work. Reason Two: "If you like it, just do it.
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And most slime molds cannot be marine biologists. So just go out there and do what you enjoy.
Marine biology is a wonderful profession. You want to find cancer cures by grinding up sponges? How about figuring out why hammerhead sharks always come back to the same seamount?
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Or where is the missing carbon dioxide that industries are producing; could the ocean be soaking it up? All neat projects. Flr pay attention nkce. None of this involves drinking copious quantities of fermented grape juice, while intoning "The ocean, she is strange and wondrous, filled with animals that disturb even a Frenchman. And just think, you actually get paid to think cool thoughts and do cool things. And so what if you will never have sex again?
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